learn what are your own limits and respect them

LP : learn what are your  own limits and respect them

Do you know your limits ?
Well...yes, I recognize them when I get there.
Hmm... are your sure ? Don't you just try to push them further ?  
Well, yes, I am cause this is about expending your power of endurance .
Ok Ok, but until where?
Until I cannot take it anymore.

And I can go on....cause when we talk about limits we just don't know where to stop....and if we should. Maybe it's just better to go on and never give up. We all admire ambitious persons. But what about Machiavelli : for real the purpose is excusing all the means ? Ok....than what about : the journey is the reward? We want to get to a certain point but what if all the road is full with stops and thorns ? until when should you take it ? Sometimes you just cannot stop , or turning back is not an option, but for the times where you have options, you need to know also when to stop and take another road.  Maybe you are lost and you though that you are on the right way.

What is even harder is that sometimes we are so concentrated on getting over those limits that we just do not understand what freedom and happiness means . And we go , and go , and take more and more and when we get to the end of the stairs we realize that we put the stairs on the wrong wall.....and than ? WTF ? this is not what I wanted ....Well....next time just establish better what you want, what you can take and what you cannot take .


So what are your limits ? Acknowledge them and understand until where you can compromise ....

The message we transmit though our appearance

LP of the day : Take care of the messages you  transmit trough your behavior, dressing style, accessories, make-up, words, etc

I had this discussion several times with different people. Not about a large concept about personal branding, but a more specific one, which is , what is the message you transmit to the opposite sex  through  your appearance . 

Strange....cause we get used to a certain way of dressing and arranging ourselves and we forget what is it that we transmit .

So, dressing a little sexy, putting a strident make-up ( which cam be just a red lipstick) and having big earrings can already transmit the message ...I am sexy, I want to seduce and even I am available. It's that simple ...Not even adding a certain look into a boys eyes ....and you are done....labeled placed .

But well...does that mean that we don't have to wear anything sexy anymore ? if we don't like to be approached  ? Well...up to you but it's important at least to acknowledge it .

So....take care of the message you transmit

Program

Since today I am very sensible and all I can do is read people's blog, I got to Silvia's and I've got inspired by a movie she posted.

It got in my hands exactly but exactly in the right moment after a period of excesses and no personal effectiveness.

So, in this perspective I am taking some new commitments to myself for the next 30 days...so from 5  August to 3 September included :

• I will read  at least one article / news per day , even if I am bored and not interested
• I will read at least 5 pages from my books / day , even if I am tired and not in the mood
• I will draw everyday even if very little 
• I will write a post on my blog everyday , containing a learning point or something that I am thinking about, even if  I  have the impression I don't have any ideas
• I will do one nice thing for a friend/someone close , even if it's just saying hi or listening 
• I will wake up in the moment that my clock rings , and not postpone the moment , even if I am very tired (if that is the case I will just put the clock 10-20 later when I will go to sleep)
• I will put all the things that I am using back to their places (within the next 30 min max), even if I am on  the rush, tired, not in the mood 

Since I am very kind with myself and I am always pushing my limits to unhealthy levels, 
I will set to myself the following limits :

• never overcome in one month the limit of 100 euros for shopping 
• shopping includes : clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, cosmetics that I don't die without (like perfume and  cremes )
• shopping does not include : food, stuff needed in the house, cosmetics that are a must 
• no exceptions excepted what so ever, no matter how nice the things are or how much I think that I need them 
• money do not report from a month to another...so I will have the 100 euros credit just for one month 
• I will not go out more than in 3 days / week 
• reasons : I loose time if it's more than this , I loose money, I don't give time to myself, I am not efficient and I don't concentrate on what is really important
• going out includes : going to  a bar , pub, social gatherings 
• going out does not include : making sports, taking a walk, shopping , other administrative things
• exceptions : when my parents or friends will come to me  I will join them in whatever they want to do 
• I will never be on minus again on my bank card
• even if this month it's hard, in next months I will always check my finances and plan in order to be sustainable and not get depressed cause I don't have any money anymore
• exceptions : if  I will join a trip outside the country - traveling being the only thing that I believe worth spending 
• Never let a week pass without at least 2 days of sports / movement / message 
• sports means : swimming, running, making inside exercises, massage, ping pong, walking more than 1 hour, biking, fitness, etc 
• even if I am tired, not in the mood, don't want to go down again the 7 floors , doing something else, it's cold outside, being in another country/city , there is always the possibility of making inside exercises or a massage 
• no exceptions permitted

That is it for now....they are enough ...now I will make a tracking list in order to track all my changes and after 15 days I am allowed to  add other things to my list. Now I have to focus on these .

Good luck Cris, I know you can do it and it's very very good for your goals and your discipline.

6 months

Life it's so funny sometimes, but for sure very rewarding if you want to see the full half.

I came in Paris on 13 of January ...yes I know, the luckiest number ever....so lucky that I got rubbed in the first hour. Than a weird start with a lot of challenges and happenings.

Still, the best thing that happened was to find a very special person...soon after my arrival. He became my friend, my entertainment, my laughs, my reason to sleep late, my way of not feeling alone . Than it became my passion, my challenge, my adrenalin , my drug, my peace, my life, my love.  

I have been on  a roller coaster ever since...climbing up and down to the highest highs and the lowest lows . I lived with intensity everything sometimes having the impression that my heart will explode of too many feelings, either positive or negative .

I have been questioning life, myself and the concept of relationship, not knowing even at this moment what is right and wrong ...still trying to figure it out. I have been living the best days of  my life feeling in love, feeling loved and enjoying life at it's full . I have been fighting and experience depression as I didn't wanted to even think that I could.

He is one of the smartest many that I have ever known , the most passionate by far, very intense in everything, a very kind and the most loving possible, expressive until the point where you can ask yourself if you ever knew what that meant before you meet him , moody sensitive and open, direct, critic, impulsive, ambitious and always persevering , fighting for love, fighting for his goal, fighting for the better, fighting for an ideal relationship and love. His jealous tendency is not always one of being possessive but rather of being protective toward those he  love, so it's important to understand how he works in order to prevent conflicts and hurting . A wonderful friend and person that it's always there to give you an advice, a shoulder to cry, will  listen and  help, will always provide solutions, think in plans, understand what you feel and go beyond the surface trying to figure out what is it that you really are, think and feel. Very loyal and kind, but you have to win his trust .
He made me feel safe and secure, never feeling afraid by his side, protecting me in every sense he knew.
Somehow it's very easy to misunderstand him and to rush to wrong conclusions. When fighting he is intransigent sticking to what he believes is right . So the best way is to prevent and avoid the situations where you can enter in a conflict. Cause they always have the final word.
He fears failures and will do everything necessary not to get there  or avoid it. So...he will fight...until the end...or give up before loosing..
Very strong and manly ....he made me feel like a woman in the best way possible.
Even so, if you give him the needed love and security, he will make you feel like a princess, like the most important person in the whole world. Will appreciate everything there is to appreciate and make you feel wanted and loved and venerated like a goddess .

I discovered that changes are possible even if very difficult and demanding .
I discovered there exists a person in the world that it's so complex and complete in the directions of my wishes and desires .
I discovered that continents cannot brake a feeling unless you don't take care .

But we screwed it up ...
We were not able to give up on some of our own ways, failing to understand each others expectations....or at least failing in the practice of this.
You never know what is the best...and sometimes life it's stupid by not aligning what we want with what we need. Cause we are blind in love, and we are sensitive in love, like a small kid in a dark wood ...not knowing where to and how to feel safe.We are impulsive in decision , fail to see the right path and taking the one that we see.

Life is cruel and we do not know all the time how to change it's course .

6 months of crazy love...that you can only see in movies ....I even envy myself to have lived this .


But ....it's 6 months that I am replaying over and over again....and it's the best movie that I could have every imagined ...my play ...with 2 main actors...but as always...somehow I will end alone on the stage....

Music in the metro

It's weird to see this :

I am always going with the metro, to work, from work, to go in the city, come home, etc. And each time there is somebody singing for money.

The process it's like this : they come in each wagon of the metro, sing for around 4-5 min and then they receive the money from those who want to give in a cup ...a lousy one usually .
The sound is really good cause they come with some kind of audio boxes which allows them to be quite clear and loud. They usually have a playing instrument, or just a microphone and they use their voice. I saw man and woman as well....but 8 out of 10....guess what ? romanian speakers and by their look....rroma people.
And yes...you can imagine that they earn some pretty good money. As we calculated they should do something more than 2500 euros/ month if they work 5 hours/ day , 20 days/ month . So how do you even imagine that they will ever leave from here since they earn so good?

Either way, the point is that they sing very very good. I guess I never payed so much attention on the fact that these people are so so talented in singing....ok manele manele ....but they have a real talent , in voice and in  instruments too. And they make such a good atmosphere ....you can even see the joy and passion on their face. It's incredible . The most interesting song that I heard was Gheorghe Gheorghiu - Unde dragoste nu e nimic nu e , or Un actor grabit- Laura Stoica .  This brings a big big smile on my face and also a sympathy for what they are doing, or what they are capable of doing.

Yes, I admit that there are a lot of other rroma persons that have a wrong approach in earning money...but still...we have all kinds ...as any of us.

So if you are coming to Paris....you have to know that you will find a lot of music....but don't be surprised if you hear them talking in Romanian .

Paris, always surprising

I love to plan my time

When I see my to do list I am happy :D.
It's that feeling that I have a purpose and I established how to spend my time correctly :D . I love it .

So yes , I have a big to do list , fuuuuull of II type of activities , which is wonderful but since they are not so urgent......it's less motivating :P. So....we need to push a little  :D .

I am reading a great book called "Trop intelligent pour etre heureux ? " and I love it (seems that I am full of love today :P ) . It's my first real book (long one too) in french and also I love the subject. They talk a lot about how we understand things, how the brain works and how it's connected to our affective plan.

Limits ? No....new horizonts

Thinking independent and individualist in a couple....that is bad bad bad ....
I didn't even realize what and how is that manifested in my behavior . And the problem is not the behavior but the cognitive and affective part that is the cause of it .

Normally I am a very independent, detached, rational and even selfish or at least self centered . I build myself like this and I got my benefits from this.... But now....I am getting the downside of it. I can see why it's not good anymore. I am hurting people around .

There are cases when you just have to let your shield down and receive somebody in all your life, mind and heart ...not only in parts of it ...and not only when you want to and it's convenient .....but all the way trough ...


 I am not used to think what WE should eat/do....not what I want to eat/do. . I am not used to plan in 2....but just to plan in one and go with the flow. I am not used to give...I usually receive, and |I am not thinking so much at the giving process . I am not used to put limits of any kind for the things that I want and do. I am used to be totally free.


I  do what I want when I want and I feel it. 


Well...this doesn't go when you want a happy couple life....yes it sucks ....but still...the benefits of a great relationship are far more important than this hedonistic behavior. 

So...compromises ? Yes....healthy and constructive compromises . This is the key. Understand that you are not just one anymore....you are a couple...you cannot make the same things as before. Sometimes you have to give up or give more .  Yes... Independence is the foundation of interdependence. But it precedes it !!!! Finding that interdependence is the new wanted level . Hard ? Yes, for sure....and what is even harder is that, it is impossible to love without giving away some power. When we choose to love we are giving power to make us happy - we cannot do that without also giving the power to hurt us or cause us to feel angry or scared.




So I have to accept the following :

• I will get hurt ! I will be scared and I will get angry, upset , sad and even depressed ....
• I will fight for my believes and my wishes ....but don't forget what is the most  important to you and when you are just to stubborn or vain 
• I have to set some limits on my behavior in order not to hurt others 
• I have to think in US from now on....not ME...and US = 1entity