What if your life was a movie ?

These days I am thinking about the dilemma of balanced life, good life, with mature and thought decisions  versus crazy, euphoric, living the moment, roller coaster kind of life.

We are trying to pursue a life of balance and maturity, a life of conformity and compromises that we see as "normal". This is the model of happiness we received trough our childhood and movies: we have around 20 smth years old,  get a job that we more or less like, settle down with our boyfriend of a few  years (or look for one in case that doesn't exist) and think about marriage, kids and growing old. Wow wow....rewind ...what ? why is this the "happy" image ? Why does it look so boring and sad when I look at it ? Why do we feel that something is missing in this picture ?

And then we remember those moments, persons or periods or events that made us "alive and awake and feeling great ". And it's funny cause usually these moments are crazy moments, when we don't think about the future and we pursue only our feelings and the wish to live as much as we can. Thoughts running like crazy, feeling so much that you need to yell out loud, to draw, to write, to express yourself in any way possible....to dance ...but also....to cry, to break everything, you feel like if you will go completely crazy , sleepless nights, tears, questioning yourself, questioning life, questioning the future and the meaning of each word, feeling, thought or smell. It's so good ...for a while ...and then it becomes tiring ...exhausting and we run back to the safeness of the "balanced, mature life" and we say..."this is the way I want it to be....this is the best for me, for my future and for all my life. I need to be mature and live a balanced life"...but then....you miss the madness....


Roller coasters are so much fun and the adrenaline makes you feel that you can touch different limits of life. And you are afraid and your heart is beating so fast...but when you finish your 30' round....you wish you could have had more. But imagine this: your wish came true and you will have to enjoy the roller coaster for 8 h  without a break. How will you feel then ? First hour is good ...but afterwards ? It might hurt you ...badly ...and mark you for life....and it's not fun after some time.


But going back....we have 1 life, 1 choice in every moment, time is running fast and never coming back, people and opportunities enter our life and leave if we don't take them by the hand. 
Imagine that your life is a movie, you are the main character and all the other characters come on the stage, play their role and at some point, they leave. Who do you want to remain in the movie with you ? What emotions or reactions does your movie produce to the viewers? And to yourself ? Are you able to take an Oscar with that movie ? Or will it go directly on tape cause it was "just another movie"  ? 

Unleash yourself and live the life  YOU want ! live the life that YOU deserve ! the kind of life that you would love to tell stories about when you grow old ! The kind of life where you never wonder "What if ?"  
Cry !!!! suffer !!!!! These are too part of life !!!! Feel embarrassed !!!! Feel insecure !!!! This is life !!!! 
Feel love!!!! Feel FREE !!! Feel the music, the art, the poetry, put colors all around, feel the amazing smell of being ALIVE !!!!


Don't settle for a comfortable life ....you just have ONE ! Make sure it worth the whole ride ! Of course it's hard...but an Oscar never comes easy !

Life is so much boring when you are not "in love"

LP(of these days/weeks): Life is so much boring when you are not "in love"

These days I am sooo bored !!!! Nothing seams to entertain me for more than a few minutes or maximum hours. And I got to think of what it's missing....and the only real response was : butterflies in my stomach.

It's weird how it happens that whatever we have, no matter how much we earn, or what promotion we've got, having true friends, maybe even having money, a good business, good health, good chocolate in our drawer ... it's just not enough.

It's like having a good soup....with all the ingredients needed (vegetables, meat, cream, and so on)  ... except that ... it is still not good enough...it's ok....we can live with it....but we will not crave for it...something is missing. I am thinking of 2 things: spices and bread . Cause it gives flavor and it accompanies your soup in such a way that you not only survive with it, but it's actually pleasant and   nourishing.
Enough about food ....cause it makes us hungry, right ?! (don't go for the chocolate ! )

But well...ya....I have a great life...but I miss some pepper ! Also...I wish I could share everything that I think and everything that happens to me with someone . Someone that it's there for me and will love me no matter what. I have my friends, sure, but they have their own life and their own "love" (bfriend/gfriend). That somebody is happy to see you and talk to you no matter the hour, no matter how busy, no matter the mood.

And we also want to feel loved...everyday ... that at home, somebody is waiting with a small surprise (like a soup cooked with love), and will keep us in their arms just like that, and will accept to hear all our bullshits that not even we, personally, want to hear.

This idea is too far  and to hard to obtain ?! Well....I would be ok just with a few butterflies then...nothing fancy. If we don't have oregano or basil  and not even pepper....I am ok just with some salt.
So if we do not have a real relationship, we still feel the need to have a "story" or just to have a "focus" on somebody, just to keep things interesting. Just to like somebody and to see how things go from day to day... is he/she going to call or not ? Should I text him/her or not ?!  Much more interesting .

Conclusion: "Waiter..... some pepper please !!! "

Giving up on "drugs"

How hard it is to give up on our "drugs" ...

We know they are bad, we know that we need to give up and stay away from them....but somehow...in the moment that we nearly succeeded to get them out of our system....we miss them. 

So yes, I wish I could give up smoking, but well, it makes me feel so good when I light up a cigarette and I relax and clear my mind while I am smoking. 

And I do want to give up on my toxic relationships, but again, it feels so exiting to taste that madness and  passion that was there and probably still is just by saying a simple "Hi".

I wish I wouldn't open my fridge and take a new slice of cheese at 10 in the evening, but my body feels so good eating it and enjoying that bite.

Small and big sins that feel so good in the moment we taste them and in a few hours they seam such a big mistake.

In life, we have some drugs that no matter how much we try to replace with healthier habits, they seem to be irreplaceable.