Me ...reloaded

Hello, long time no see J . It happened a lot of stuff into my life and I promise I’ll make some time to make it up to my diary to update everything J.

Right now I just feel I want to write about my thoughts and my feelings because they are running really random and feel the need to get out.

I recently discovered lots of things about myself , starting with my readings from Covey, the D.Y.P Project , NaLDS (a leadership conference in Germany that I recently attended) and RTS (our regional conference in AIESEC).

I can say that it was the best period in my life from the point of view of discovery and improvement… and it’s still going on…

The thing that I can say that it was the most important for me, was to realize what motivates me and makes me happy. And I came to this : first is my beloved (to whom I can thank every day for everything that he is and does) , second and really important,is my contribution to others development . I analyzed all my past and the steps that I did and it was there…without a name …I did volunteer work in different organizations , I did trainings, coaching, projects and all this made me happy. Not for demonstrating anything (how some may thing), because except learning I didn’t got something else , but for the feeling of contributing to others development. Help others : smaller than you , equally or even bigger than you to go one step ahead. I spent nights without much sleep, I woke up motivated and ready for action and spent my days with passion when it came to develop others.

The way that I love best to do it is by training. It is just an indescribably feeling : preparing the session, wake up in that morning , the feelings and the bits of my heart before delivery and the amazing energy and motivation that I get during the training. The best fulfillment feeling for me is the one after a successful training session that I held. It just gives me wings. When I can see that my training had an impact and the participants feel they learned a lot from it makes me happy. This is training for me.

For the next year I choose to run for Projects Vice-president in AIESEC Cluj-Napoca . I want to have this opportunity because I believe that I can contribute best to others development . I would love for AIESEC to have as much quality and impact projects as possible for the next year and I believe that is doable(with or without my) .

I said “with or without my” because I’m not so sure anymore if I’m the right person for this position. I believe in myself and I would like others around my to know me and trust in me as much as I do…

I know that I have some improvable points that I have to work on, and I already started to work on them(this will be another story that I promise to share) but is very hard to change habits or behaviors in a short time.

I also know that I’m not a very transparent person , that meaning that the core of me , remains for me and a few others. I know that maybe most of the time people can see only a wrapping (that might be good or bed) but for me, regarding my past ,is very hard to show off shell. I know that it can do me lots of good(to get out from the shell) , but I’m afraid of the hurting …I had too much…and I don’t want it anymore .

The bottom line : I love and I believe in myself , I also know that I’m not a perfect person and I know that the first impression is not the accurate one (I learned this in practice :p) so , whatever happens I’ll just follow my vision (which includes developing others ).