What is a friend ?

Good question....

A character in your play ... that comes in ...plays he's role, an important one ...and vanishes behind the curtains at some point...

I wish there were more then one main character in my play... Why can't I just direct my own play? It's mine...I am the main character...I want to say who is staying and who is leaving !!! Well...I'm not ...I am just an actor performing the role of his life and I have to play by the rules.

Still...there are so few persons in our life that are present even though they are not on the stage. You just know they are there...and that somehow helps you not to feel alone ...

For me a friend is somebody that understands me behind my actions and my words...it's a person that feels me without even saying a word ...somebody who is aware of my own limitation and accepts them ...somebody who can see my flaws and the ugliness and accepts that ... he is just there ...feeling and understanding ...listening without judging, questioning or trying to change me...and knowing that I am there in the same way for him.

Sometimes I am afraid to commit to anything but mostly I am afraid to keep my relationship with others.... I know...it's strange...but this is me. I am afraid to just let go because of the fear of that imminent end...I am afraid to discover at some point that it's just another character in my own play and I was a character for he's.

I am afraid of disappointments ...because it always comes to this. Somebody gets disappointed at some level or they just get a more important role in other play ...and it all breaks down in a flash...

And yet....we are never ever alone on the stage. There are always other characters ... playing different roles in importance and influence over your own . You play your own role adapted to the new scenes and characters ... and even if your script changes ...you are still yourself...the actor ...only playing the new script adapted to the requirements of your public (the world we are living in)...