Happily ever after

LP : When love it's not enough

There are a few things about this. We first find out about love from stories , like the Beauty and the Beast, The little mermaid or Cinderella ...at least these are the "girls kinda stories " ...And we start to make an image about love that it's magical, that it's crossing boundaries, changes habits, overcomes differences in classes, and they all fall in love and they live "happily ever after ".
Than we see movies where everything is ending good, the first love it's the real love, they are all talking about "the one" , the perfect match and so on .
And somehow we take this image and project it to reality and we search for our prince all our lives , having false expectations and perspectives.

What I hate about all those stories (even if they do make me feel good and laugh or have a positive state) is that they never show what happens after....ok, they get together and they swear their love forever ...but what happens after ?

I guess that the reason why they do not show that is that ...after, comes the hard part...it's not only flowers blooming , and the moon and the rocks in the soul ....it's more heavy rocks all the way .

And ok, we love each other and we think it's forever or at least we hope, but than, first big fights come along....and than the next ones and the next ones ....and you wonder ...ok ...we have love , what else am I missing here ? Wasn't this the recipe ?

A lot....cause in my opinion, reality proves us that just love, it's never actually enough . There has to be a lot of other ingredients like : trust, security, respect, respect of boundaries and limits, respect of individuality, maturity, knowing,understanding and accepting each other,  having the right expectations, sincerity and will to go on and have a real mature and healthy relationship .
Wait....so I have to do all these things in the same time ?
Well yes, these and much more ....the list can go on so you name it.

Love is not simple at all...and for sure it has it's very very beautiful parts and benefits, but it also has it's difficulties and challenges.

And it depends on each and every one of us what we make out of these experiences. Sometimes we meet people that we match perfect with , but there is no spark, no chemistry thus no love. Sometimes we meet people whom we love, desire and feel passion for, but we find out that we don't match .

Watching older couples still together (like my mom and my dad ) I can see that the truth is somewhere in the middle. First, yes, they still have strong feelings about each other (even if they don't express it publicly so much) , they do  have some (or a lot of fights ) , they still are going in the same direction, but most important, they continue and persevere in being together .

As a friend of V. said "We fall in love by accident , but we chose to stay in love"

It's always a choice, my choice, your choice ...