These days I am thinking about the dilemma of balanced life, good life, with mature and thought decisions versus crazy, euphoric, living the moment, roller coaster kind of life.
We are trying to pursue a life of balance and maturity, a life of conformity and compromises that we see as "normal". This is the model of happiness we received trough our childhood and movies: we have around 20 smth years old, get a job that we more or less like, settle down with our boyfriend of a few years (or look for one in case that doesn't exist) and think about marriage, kids and growing old. Wow wow....rewind ...what ? why is this the "happy" image ? Why does it look so boring and sad when I look at it ? Why do we feel that something is missing in this picture ?
And then we remember those moments, persons or periods or events that made us "alive and awake and feeling great ". And it's funny cause usually these moments are crazy moments, when we don't think about the future and we pursue only our feelings and the wish to live as much as we can. Thoughts running like crazy, feeling so much that you need to yell out loud, to draw, to write, to express yourself in any way possible....to dance ...but also....to cry, to break everything, you feel like if you will go completely crazy , sleepless nights, tears, questioning yourself, questioning life, questioning the future and the meaning of each word, feeling, thought or smell. It's so good ...for a while ...and then it becomes tiring ...exhausting and we run back to the safeness of the "balanced, mature life" and we say..."this is the way I want it to be....this is the best for me, for my future and for all my life. I need to be mature and live a balanced life"...but then....you miss the madness....
Roller coasters are so much fun and the adrenaline makes you feel that you can touch different limits of life. And you are afraid and your heart is beating so fast...but when you finish your 30' round....you wish you could have had more. But imagine this: your wish came true and you will have to enjoy the roller coaster for 8 h without a break. How will you feel then ? First hour is good ...but afterwards ? It might hurt you ...badly ...and mark you for life....and it's not fun after some time.
But going back....we have 1 life, 1 choice in every moment, time is running fast and never coming back, people and opportunities enter our life and leave if we don't take them by the hand.
Imagine that your life is a movie, you are the main character and all the other characters come on the stage, play their role and at some point, they leave. Who do you want to remain in the movie with you ? What emotions or reactions does your movie produce to the viewers? And to yourself ? Are you able to take an Oscar with that movie ? Or will it go directly on tape cause it was "just another movie" ?
Unleash yourself and live the life YOU want ! live the life that YOU deserve ! the kind of life that you would love to tell stories about when you grow old ! The kind of life where you never wonder "What if ?"
Cry !!!! suffer !!!!! These are too part of life !!!! Feel embarrassed !!!! Feel insecure !!!! This is life !!!!
Feel love!!!! Feel FREE !!! Feel the music, the art, the poetry, put colors all around, feel the amazing smell of being ALIVE !!!!
Don't settle for a comfortable life ....you just have ONE ! Make sure it worth the whole ride ! Of course it's hard...but an Oscar never comes easy !
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