Why is it that the people that are smart, good looking and complex ...have a low self esteem ?
In a world where everybody is frustrated and needing more and more from themselves is self esteem a problem that just got out of control ?
I have so many wonderful friends, people that I admire, people that I love, people that are beautiful inside and out and that I am proud to call friends that have the biggest insecurities ..over themselves and life.
I know so many of them that show a high self esteem...even arrogance ...but when you look behind their shells and look inside ...they are so afraid...and so insecure.
Being afraid to open, being afraid to suffer, or to loose. Some are afraid that their true self is not enough, afraid to be judged or criticized. Feeling that they might be taken for fools if they show emotions ...that being sensitive is wrong.
What do we need in order to have a healthy self esteem ?
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Stories
It's interesting how people manage to see the reality in the way they need it.
Sometimes we do like this : we have the facts but we cannot accept the truth so, what we do next in our heads is to change facts, distortion the information received in order to be acceptable for us and our feelings.
One of this kind of stories are when we are cheated or when we are left / abandoned by our love partner. We just don't understand what is happening, why us, why to us and where did we go wrong. So....we make up stories concerning different external forces that controlled the situation.
My favorite story about this goes smth like this : "my man cheated me / abandoned me because another girl put charms / spells on him . She took him away from me without his own will. He was actually loving me and we were having a great relationship, but this witch (or bitch, by case ) came and charmed him without him even realizing. So ? What can I do ? It was not me ! Our relationship was perfect...it was an exterior power . "
Hahahaha....girls (cause let's admit this, boys don't do this) , please, stop lying to yourselves, it doesn't help . This idea is a total bullshit. If he is leaving or cheating you, something is wrong !!!!! Point .
And even funnier, the idiot that put his dick in another girl or be decided to leave (either as a coward or just because he doesn't love you anymore) he is a fucking saint, he is also a victim and the poor guy was charmed.
Please understand by charmed everything from seduced, conquered, spelled, or anything in between.
I cannot even underline enough how unhealthy is this way of thinking . For us as "victims". It just makes us have a wrong image about ourselves , our life and our relationships. If you are this kind of person , you will never be able to have better relationships until the point you open yourself to see and accept the truth. After, you can analyze and see what can you do next.
Stop lying to yourselves girls. Your man just didn't want you anymore or you were having problems in your relationship or you just didn't do your part so well (of being a girlfriend).
Get to the next one....but never forget to understand what was right and what was wrong in what you did in your previous relationships.
Sometimes we do like this : we have the facts but we cannot accept the truth so, what we do next in our heads is to change facts, distortion the information received in order to be acceptable for us and our feelings.
One of this kind of stories are when we are cheated or when we are left / abandoned by our love partner. We just don't understand what is happening, why us, why to us and where did we go wrong. So....we make up stories concerning different external forces that controlled the situation.
My favorite story about this goes smth like this : "my man cheated me / abandoned me because another girl put charms / spells on him . She took him away from me without his own will. He was actually loving me and we were having a great relationship, but this witch (or bitch, by case ) came and charmed him without him even realizing. So ? What can I do ? It was not me ! Our relationship was perfect...it was an exterior power . "
Hahahaha....girls (cause let's admit this, boys don't do this) , please, stop lying to yourselves, it doesn't help . This idea is a total bullshit. If he is leaving or cheating you, something is wrong !!!!! Point .
And even funnier, the idiot that put his dick in another girl or be decided to leave (either as a coward or just because he doesn't love you anymore) he is a fucking saint, he is also a victim and the poor guy was charmed.
Please understand by charmed everything from seduced, conquered, spelled, or anything in between.
I cannot even underline enough how unhealthy is this way of thinking . For us as "victims". It just makes us have a wrong image about ourselves , our life and our relationships. If you are this kind of person , you will never be able to have better relationships until the point you open yourself to see and accept the truth. After, you can analyze and see what can you do next.
Stop lying to yourselves girls. Your man just didn't want you anymore or you were having problems in your relationship or you just didn't do your part so well (of being a girlfriend).
Get to the next one....but never forget to understand what was right and what was wrong in what you did in your previous relationships.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Group decisions
LP: don't involve more than one person in your decision process, they will make a mess
These days I am working to open a new blog related to my first and most important passion , which is fashion, shoes, bags and so on .
Even if I want to do it as a passion first, the idea is that I never go for small or less. So I want to make it as good as possible, to differentiate from the other sites on the same idea and to come with something useful that also represents me.
Very simple to say, but hard to do. I am blocked at the first thing: the name of the site . I need it to be creative, representative, fun , to be related to the pink panther and to fashion.... So, I used my facebook account to do a poll on the name of the site . And again, I find myself having more questions than answers .
Either way, the experiment it's really interesting cause I had a lot of responses and received a lot of ideas .
Still didn't decided...but I guess I am on the right way
These days I am working to open a new blog related to my first and most important passion , which is fashion, shoes, bags and so on .
Even if I want to do it as a passion first, the idea is that I never go for small or less. So I want to make it as good as possible, to differentiate from the other sites on the same idea and to come with something useful that also represents me.
Very simple to say, but hard to do. I am blocked at the first thing: the name of the site . I need it to be creative, representative, fun , to be related to the pink panther and to fashion.... So, I used my facebook account to do a poll on the name of the site . And again, I find myself having more questions than answers .
Either way, the experiment it's really interesting cause I had a lot of responses and received a lot of ideas .
Still didn't decided...but I guess I am on the right way
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
2 sides
LP: Everyone has it's own side of the cube
So....if you look at a cube that normally should have 6 faces, which one do you see ?
Stupid question no ?
It's the same with any real life situation. We all have the same information but still, we judge and see it totally different....or better, we see another side of the story .
That is actually wonderful cause in this way we learn and see what we do not observe at the first look.
If for example, the faces of the cube have totally different colors , and I can see white and you can see black , than, what will happen is that I will talk about the same thing but picturing it white and you will understand that it;s black. It's hard for me to make you see white when what you actually see is black.
And the worse is when both or at least one of the parts don't want to accept that it's possible that the same cube have different colors depending on the way you see it (on the perspective you look at it).
Still...for the same reason I always ask myself....ok....I see white and I understand that you see black....but am I right ? can I say that the cube is white? Or I should just accept that it's multicolored ?
What if most of the cube is actually black and only my side it's white ?
All in all, we have different perspectives on the same information and situations but we almost never know for sure if we are right or wrong and how should we act further ...
So....if you look at a cube that normally should have 6 faces, which one do you see ?
Stupid question no ?
It's the same with any real life situation. We all have the same information but still, we judge and see it totally different....or better, we see another side of the story .
That is actually wonderful cause in this way we learn and see what we do not observe at the first look.
If for example, the faces of the cube have totally different colors , and I can see white and you can see black , than, what will happen is that I will talk about the same thing but picturing it white and you will understand that it;s black. It's hard for me to make you see white when what you actually see is black.
And the worse is when both or at least one of the parts don't want to accept that it's possible that the same cube have different colors depending on the way you see it (on the perspective you look at it).
Still...for the same reason I always ask myself....ok....I see white and I understand that you see black....but am I right ? can I say that the cube is white? Or I should just accept that it's multicolored ?
What if most of the cube is actually black and only my side it's white ?
All in all, we have different perspectives on the same information and situations but we almost never know for sure if we are right or wrong and how should we act further ...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
the physical extra mile
LP : always do the extra mile
I am the kind of pretty lazy girl when it comes to sports and movement. I enjoy staying, relaxing and doing nothing in a comfortable position .
So today, I went to the pool (like the 3rd time since I am in Paris....so....it's clear how lazy I can be , oh yes, and I ran 2 times :P ) . And I did 1 back and forth , than second, and it already started to be hard, than 3rd and I was thinking to stop. Then , I just said to myself : I want to do 5 back and forth so 10 times the lenght of the pool . And I worked so hard to do it ...and I succeed it .
But then , the friend that was with me said, I want to do 4 more lengths. I was shocked, he had already made by then around 16 , so I presumed he is running for 20 ..anyway , I said ....ok, I will wait for you.
But then I figure it out....ok, what if I do 2 more too (1 back and forth ) ? and I wasn't sure I can make it, but I did it, I swam 600 m today . I did the extra mile .
Transporting this to other subjects, sometimes, we go the extra mile cause it worth it and we can see it clearly. Even if it hurts we try to do more and more and push and push. But as I said in a previous post, know your limits and try to see when you are already bleeding and hurting yourself more than helping and doing good.
So for example, if today I was running for the target of 20, maybe at some point I couldn't have breath properly, my legs would hurt me blocking my walk for a few days , I would have a very bad sleep and I will not be able to do sports anymore for around 6-7 days. So ? In comparison with the 12 , 20 does not give me a good report between benefits and costs paid .
But still...each time we can, we need and should do our best to take the extra mile
I am the kind of pretty lazy girl when it comes to sports and movement. I enjoy staying, relaxing and doing nothing in a comfortable position .
So today, I went to the pool (like the 3rd time since I am in Paris....so....it's clear how lazy I can be , oh yes, and I ran 2 times :P ) . And I did 1 back and forth , than second, and it already started to be hard, than 3rd and I was thinking to stop. Then , I just said to myself : I want to do 5 back and forth so 10 times the lenght of the pool . And I worked so hard to do it ...and I succeed it .
But then , the friend that was with me said, I want to do 4 more lengths. I was shocked, he had already made by then around 16 , so I presumed he is running for 20 ..anyway , I said ....ok, I will wait for you.
But then I figure it out....ok, what if I do 2 more too (1 back and forth ) ? and I wasn't sure I can make it, but I did it, I swam 600 m today . I did the extra mile .
Transporting this to other subjects, sometimes, we go the extra mile cause it worth it and we can see it clearly. Even if it hurts we try to do more and more and push and push. But as I said in a previous post, know your limits and try to see when you are already bleeding and hurting yourself more than helping and doing good.
So for example, if today I was running for the target of 20, maybe at some point I couldn't have breath properly, my legs would hurt me blocking my walk for a few days , I would have a very bad sleep and I will not be able to do sports anymore for around 6-7 days. So ? In comparison with the 12 , 20 does not give me a good report between benefits and costs paid .
But still...each time we can, we need and should do our best to take the extra mile
Monday, August 8, 2011
Happily ever after
LP : When love it's not enough
There are a few things about this. We first find out about love from stories , like the Beauty and the Beast, The little mermaid or Cinderella ...at least these are the "girls kinda stories " ...And we start to make an image about love that it's magical, that it's crossing boundaries, changes habits, overcomes differences in classes, and they all fall in love and they live "happily ever after ".
Than we see movies where everything is ending good, the first love it's the real love, they are all talking about "the one" , the perfect match and so on .
And somehow we take this image and project it to reality and we search for our prince all our lives , having false expectations and perspectives.
What I hate about all those stories (even if they do make me feel good and laugh or have a positive state) is that they never show what happens after....ok, they get together and they swear their love forever ...but what happens after ?
I guess that the reason why they do not show that is that ...after, comes the hard part...it's not only flowers blooming , and the moon and the rocks in the soul ....it's more heavy rocks all the way .
And ok, we love each other and we think it's forever or at least we hope, but than, first big fights come along....and than the next ones and the next ones ....and you wonder ...ok ...we have love , what else am I missing here ? Wasn't this the recipe ?
A lot....cause in my opinion, reality proves us that just love, it's never actually enough . There has to be a lot of other ingredients like : trust, security, respect, respect of boundaries and limits, respect of individuality, maturity, knowing,understanding and accepting each other, having the right expectations, sincerity and will to go on and have a real mature and healthy relationship .
Wait....so I have to do all these things in the same time ?
Well yes, these and much more ....the list can go on so you name it.
Love is not simple at all...and for sure it has it's very very beautiful parts and benefits, but it also has it's difficulties and challenges.
And it depends on each and every one of us what we make out of these experiences. Sometimes we meet people that we match perfect with , but there is no spark, no chemistry thus no love. Sometimes we meet people whom we love, desire and feel passion for, but we find out that we don't match .
Watching older couples still together (like my mom and my dad ) I can see that the truth is somewhere in the middle. First, yes, they still have strong feelings about each other (even if they don't express it publicly so much) , they do have some (or a lot of fights ) , they still are going in the same direction, but most important, they continue and persevere in being together .
As a friend of V. said "We fall in love by accident , but we chose to stay in love"
It's always a choice, my choice, your choice ...
There are a few things about this. We first find out about love from stories , like the Beauty and the Beast, The little mermaid or Cinderella ...at least these are the "girls kinda stories " ...And we start to make an image about love that it's magical, that it's crossing boundaries, changes habits, overcomes differences in classes, and they all fall in love and they live "happily ever after ".
Than we see movies where everything is ending good, the first love it's the real love, they are all talking about "the one" , the perfect match and so on .
And somehow we take this image and project it to reality and we search for our prince all our lives , having false expectations and perspectives.
What I hate about all those stories (even if they do make me feel good and laugh or have a positive state) is that they never show what happens after....ok, they get together and they swear their love forever ...but what happens after ?
I guess that the reason why they do not show that is that ...after, comes the hard part...it's not only flowers blooming , and the moon and the rocks in the soul ....it's more heavy rocks all the way .
And ok, we love each other and we think it's forever or at least we hope, but than, first big fights come along....and than the next ones and the next ones ....and you wonder ...ok ...we have love , what else am I missing here ? Wasn't this the recipe ?
A lot....cause in my opinion, reality proves us that just love, it's never actually enough . There has to be a lot of other ingredients like : trust, security, respect, respect of boundaries and limits, respect of individuality, maturity, knowing,understanding and accepting each other, having the right expectations, sincerity and will to go on and have a real mature and healthy relationship .
Wait....so I have to do all these things in the same time ?
Well yes, these and much more ....the list can go on so you name it.
Love is not simple at all...and for sure it has it's very very beautiful parts and benefits, but it also has it's difficulties and challenges.
And it depends on each and every one of us what we make out of these experiences. Sometimes we meet people that we match perfect with , but there is no spark, no chemistry thus no love. Sometimes we meet people whom we love, desire and feel passion for, but we find out that we don't match .
Watching older couples still together (like my mom and my dad ) I can see that the truth is somewhere in the middle. First, yes, they still have strong feelings about each other (even if they don't express it publicly so much) , they do have some (or a lot of fights ) , they still are going in the same direction, but most important, they continue and persevere in being together .
As a friend of V. said "We fall in love by accident , but we chose to stay in love"
It's always a choice, my choice, your choice ...
Sunday, August 7, 2011
"When you want something, all the universe conspires" ....hold it ....really ?
LP : Once you've establish a new goal you start observing everything around that it's related to it
Well...I guess Coelho was kinda right with the too much popular and overused "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it ". So ....dear Coelho....once again life proved me that you are not saying bullshits, even if your messages are a little too direct for me :P.
So yes, I have decided to open a new blog, this time on a very precise subject, which is Fashion, my dearest passion and hobby (btw stay tuned for the news :P ).
This idea came to me in a very good moment when I already have the majority of the ingredients in my hands . The only thing to do next is .....start :D . But ever since that moment , I am observing everything related to this. I always criticized people on the street regarding their clothes ...but well...now even more...I can see the slightest detail that it's not in the right place or not the happiest choice . I can see the beautiful things, I can draw different (more mature and attentive to detail) , I do my photos in a certain way, I look for information and supporters everywhere, lot's of random brainstorming on the name :P .
So yes...well...if you want to do something....I am not sure if it's the universe or yourself that it's facilitating all that you need....but still....you think and act in that direction . You start to see things that you didn't see before, see opportunities that you were just not looking for or just ignore and you start to share your project with others ....getting their support and their ideas and in this way helping you to develop it.
So dear Coelho ....I agree...but not quite.....I think that it's more about me that it's making it happen, and not the WHOLE universe ....I use the universe in the way that I need ...so dear....it's still me the one in charge here ...as always
Well...I guess Coelho was kinda right with the too much popular and overused "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it ". So ....dear Coelho....once again life proved me that you are not saying bullshits, even if your messages are a little too direct for me :P.
So yes, I have decided to open a new blog, this time on a very precise subject, which is Fashion, my dearest passion and hobby (btw stay tuned for the news :P ).
This idea came to me in a very good moment when I already have the majority of the ingredients in my hands . The only thing to do next is .....start :D . But ever since that moment , I am observing everything related to this. I always criticized people on the street regarding their clothes ...but well...now even more...I can see the slightest detail that it's not in the right place or not the happiest choice . I can see the beautiful things, I can draw different (more mature and attentive to detail) , I do my photos in a certain way, I look for information and supporters everywhere, lot's of random brainstorming on the name :P .
So yes...well...if you want to do something....I am not sure if it's the universe or yourself that it's facilitating all that you need....but still....you think and act in that direction . You start to see things that you didn't see before, see opportunities that you were just not looking for or just ignore and you start to share your project with others ....getting their support and their ideas and in this way helping you to develop it.
So dear Coelho ....I agree...but not quite.....I think that it's more about me that it's making it happen, and not the WHOLE universe ....I use the universe in the way that I need ...so dear....it's still me the one in charge here ...as always
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